We're 4 days removed from the Colorado movie theater shooting that took the lives of 12 people and injured 50+ others. The shooter had his first day in court yesterday, with painted red "Joker" style hair and a dazed look in his eye. We're beyond the shock...sadly. The headlines are already beginning to fade as the next big story takes over. Artists have created their tributes. Prayer vigils have been held. Those that are anti-gun are calling for tougher laws. Those that are pro-gun have changed their facebook status to remind us that guns don't kill people...people kill people. The chat rooms and blogosphere are full of people psycho-analyzing the shooter with names such as "sociopath" and "just crazy". And of course, everyone wants to know why.
I do think that some people just have a wire loose. Whether it's a psychotic break or a chemical imbalance or they witnessed something that drove them over the edge, some people just snap. The crimes that these people commit are usually called "crimes of passion" and are sometimes ragged and sloppy. But the shooting in Aurora, Colorado - just like Columbine, or Jonesboro, or Virginia Tech, or the countless other mass shootings in schools and other public arenas - was planned. Calculated. Executed to a "T" to kill as many people as possible in a manner that would cause panic and fear and would be remembered. I think that last part is probably the most significant. It will be remembered.
What we learned about the shooters in the events I named was that they were all "loners". We heard witnesses and classmates and parents and friends talk about how all of these guys were quiet, kept to themselves, but maybe dressed a little odd or seemed a little different. And then we heard about the journals and the manifestos, telling stories of bullying, or of not being understood, or feeling unloved or unwanted or insignificant.
My question is this: why was no one aware? Why was an arsenal being compiled in the apartment next door or the dorm room or under the teenager's bed? Why was no one paying attention? All of these people had parents, teachers, friends, clergy, in their lives. So why did no one see or hear or suspect anything was wrong and then do something that may have prevented Friday night's shooting or any of the ones before?
See, I don't think this has anything to do with being desensitized to violence. I don't think it has anything to do with gun laws. I don't think it has anything to do with movies or even video games. I think it has everything to do with human beings not paying attention.
One of the joys in my life is continuing to watch my nearly 4 year old nephew learn and discover new things. He becomes more and more confident in his abilities to do things himself and when he accomplishes something he is eager to share that victory. When he has a question he wants an answer. At times, I have witnessed him trying to get someones attention to show or ask that person something, and I have witnessed the frustration in his voice, expression, and mannerisms when he cannot get the adult he's speaking to to listen. Now I know that manners have to be taught and children have to learn not to interrupt or to wait their turn, but I also believe that at that moment, there is little, if anything, that is more important than stopping for a few seconds and acknowledging and being proud or answering a question.
I know what it feels like to be so excited about something that I have to find someone to share it with right at that moment, and I know the deflating feeling when I call everyone in my cell phones and no one answers. I know what it feels like to feel sad or frustrated or angry about something and either have no one to talk to or to have people simply tell me that I shouldn't feel that way - I should feel differently - and then move on. Encouraging a different perspective is one thing. Making someone feel unjustified and not validated is something else, because now, not only does that person feel frustrated or angry, now they also feel alone.
As the news broke Friday morning, I gasped in the horror of the situation. Like the rest of the nation I ached for the victims and shook my head in disbelief that this kind of thing had happened again. But as the day wore on I found myself thinking more about the shooter. Now, don't get me wrong. He is absolutely responsible for the death and pain and injury that he caused and he should be punished. But I can't help believing that something or someone could have stopped this. This kid, this 24 year old medical student, not only collected assault rifles and tactical gear, but constructed a booby-trap in his residence designed to kill anyone that walked through the door. When the media contacted his mother following his arrest, her words were "You have the right guy". I don't even know what to do with that. No question or shock in her voice. Just "You have the right guy".
Somewhere in the life of this troubled young man, someone made him feel insignificant. Someone didn't listen. Someone told him he didn't stack up. Someone made him feel invisible. Someone didn't pay attention. And at some point he felt the only thing left to do was strap on a mask, walk into a movie theater, and shoot 70 people. Now we're paying attention.
In a culture that is becoming more about mega-multi-tasking and less about human connection, ask yourself what's more important? And then...
Stop. Put the phone down. Step away from facebook. Turn off the TV. Unplug.
Now...
Play a game. Take a walk. Cook a meal. Talk to each other. Go outside. Take a road trip. Look people in the eye. Speak to the guy at the drive thru. Smile at the cashier. Go meet your neighbors. Leave an extra tip for the hotel maid. Say "thank you" to your post master or garbage collector. Introduce yourself to the quiet guy in the corner. Celebrate your children. Celebrate every ones children. Answer the questions. Validate one another. Pray. Love.
Pay attention.
Pay attention.
Pay attention.
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